Trying to get back

Sometimes you want to say f*** this. Really. That's kind of how I felt over the last... I don't know how long has it been? Three weeks? Longer? It started when the stomach virus hit. Three puking kids, endless cycles of laundry, and shampooing carpets and sofas. There were also my school assignments, appointments, and the usual errands. Needless to say, my move to minimalism got derailed.

For the last week, things have slowed down. I found a way to breath again. The family is back on a somewhat familiar routine. Yet, I'm unwilling to jump right into my 365 movement or into The Minimalist Game-- going through all my stuff and figuring out what I should toss, giveaway, or donate. It's really hard to get back into something you stopped for a period of time. A part of me is disappointed that I didn't last long... hardly at all. There's also a part of me that thinks, what is the point? How many times do I try to do this and then stop? Sometimes it is years in between before I'm willing to restart this simplifying process.

Yet, there is also that side of me that feels I need to get back to the basics more than ever. If nothing else, the last few weeks showed me how frustratingly chaotic my life is. I don't like how I felt the last few weeks. I really don't like being that frazzled, get things done at the last minute kind of person. I truly understand that there were factors that would have tested Mother Theresa's patience. Puke being foremost. However, I believe that if I were at a better spot in my life, I probably could have handled it better.

I also realized getting rid of things isn't going to make my life stress free. It's a way of life. I sure do want to get there. I tell myself there will be more setbacks, but that doesn't mean I won't get there. It just may take me longer than I planned.

So, I'm taking time to re-think this. I'm going to have to decide if I'm going to get there by doing what I did before or by trying something else. I also have to decide if I'm going there, where is there? I know the 'feeling' of that life. I am good at imagining how I would feel, but I don't think I imagined what it would mean to live that life beyond a feeling. What does simplifying mean to me? What kind of life is that? What would a normal day be like? What do I do in that day? How do I interact with people around me and with the things I come across? What kind of person am I?

In summary, I'm still trying to figure it out.

365 Day 8: Undergarments

It's Day 8 of my journey, and Day 7 of playing The Minimalists' Game, which means saying adios to 7 items today. I got rid of four bras and three undies. Don't worry. I'm not posting pictures.

Do you remember my post about not being one of a kind? I just stumbled across a blog called 365 Less Things by Colleen Madsen. She's blogging out of Australia and has been doing so for four years. I came across it while searching for more minimalist blogs. Sometime this week, I want to create a list of blogs that offer creative ways to minimize. You know, something that may be fun and an inspiration for Spring Cleaning. It's already getting hard, and I'm just starting week 2.

365 Day 6 and 7: This and That

It's the weekend, and I made it through a week of project 365. I'm also playing The Minimalists' Game for the month of April. I'm decluttering the house by throwing out or giving away something everyday. This weekend, I tossed 11 items since April 5 and April 6 (five plus six equals 11) falls on the weekend. As you can see above, that means three pots, two containers, one lid (which I can't find where it goes to), a chipped candle/oil diffuser, two more vases, a pair of sunglasses, and a broken frame.

Yes, one of the vases does look familiar. Friday, I had said goodbye to two similar vases. I found this one outside and filled with dirt. To tell you the truth, I did have four  of these vases at one point. However, one broke a long time ago. I'm tossing the sunglasses because I'm probably legally blind without prescriptive glasses, and the ones in the picture are not prescriptive. Some of you may notice that there's a tag still on the broken picture frame. I bought that frame when I lived in South Caroline, which was about six years ago. I never used it and never will.

I'm usually a tad lazy when it comes to math, but I am going to do some now. In terms of The Minimalists' Game, I said goodbye to 21 items. A humongous part of me screams I should not have joined in the game and spread those 21 items over 21 days. At least then, I would of made it nearly a month into project 365. I guess I could argue that getting rid of things now or later shouldn't matter. I should be happy with the progress.

It's already starting to get hard. Maybe I don't own that much stuff. I can look around the house and see plenty of things that belong to my kids and even some that belong to my husband. It would be very easy for me to get through this month and the next 51 weeks if I could count their stuff. However, my initial rules says I can't. That worries me. I don't know if I'm going to make it. I wonder if I'm just so attached to my own things that I can't see what I can get rid of-- what I don't really need. Over the next few weeks (maybe even days), I'll find out.

I do know one thing. I'm going to try and be honest about what I need and don't need. I'm not one of those people who says I have to make it to day 365 if I accomplished what I need to on day 100 (which then it will be project 100 instead of project 365). At the same time, I don't want to stop early because I can't bare to part with what I own, but don't use.

365 Day 5: Vases

Today is April 4th, or the 4th day I'm playing The Minimalists' game, hence I'm saying, "So long!" to four vases-- but just to confuse you it's day 5 since I started my declutter mission which you can read more about here. 

I bought two of the vases when they were on sale. Those two are the pink and white twins. Why? I guess just because they were on sale. Sometimes when I see things on sale, even if I don't need them, I invent a need or want. In this case, I envisioned filling these vases with sweet carnations all year round. I wanted to create lovely, aromatic childhood memories for my children, and when they are grown and smell carnations, they will fondly remember I did something right. Now that I'm thinking about it, I may have gotten that idea from my husband who remembers his childhood home smelling like carnations. Overt subliminal messages are powerful to a degree. My intent never met reality. There's a reason why good intentions pave the road to hell.Those empty childhood memories vases took up three years of space.

My husband gifted me the other two vases as part of a Mother's Day Bouquet. I don't remember which Mother's Days. The flowers have long dried up and been tossed in the trash. However, I couldn't bare to throw good vases away. Seriously, at the time I wasn't up to playing favorites. If pinkie and whitie were sticking around, then these two were more than welcomed to stay. I stashed them under the sink, then placed them in a cabinent, and finally next to the other vases on top of a bookcase. I tried convincing myself that this is what you call decorating. You know, storing empty vases on top of a dusty bookcase.

Who am I kidding? For the last week, I looked up at the line of vases and thought I should do something. I decided to get rid of all but one (or three) in case I get surprised with a bouquet of flowers by my sweet husband (hint, hint if you ever read this hubby) and say goodbye to these four. 

I made a rule that I can't bring something into the house unless I'm willing to let something go. It's kind of like that eye-for-an-eye thing people love to talk about. So far, I haven't made any purchases (food and hygiene products don't count). I know a week hasn't even gone by, and for many people, this is no big deal. For me, though, it's a kangaroo leap. I'm an impulsive buyer and emotional shopper. This rule, I hope, will stop me from buying needlessly or making spur of the moment, life changing plans because I just have to have... let's say that spam cutter in the drugstore I keep thinking about or vases filled with invisible carnations.

Maybe I'm Not One of a Kind

It took me a long time to come up with the title Hanging Out Inside. I couldn't help but feel accomplished when I came up with it. It doesn't take a lot to send me to the clouds. I loved the name. Still love it. Too me, it explains an introvert. It also speaks to how we have an inner and outer selves, with the inner self being a place all of one's own. So, I started thinking-- I'm going to reserve the name on social media sites. Imagine how far my jaw fell when I discovered that my original idea wasn't so original. An Other was already using the name.

It was a blow. A one-two punch in the face and gut. As children, we are busy trying to fit in. We join cliques, embrace fads, and mimic popular people, shows, and music (introverts to a lesser degree, but to some degree nonetheless). Yet, at the same time, we want to be original. Who wants to have the same name as everyone else? Gah. We are social creatures with individual identities and needs and wants. We all want to belong, but we want to also be unique. Maybe it's a kind of self-preservation thing. If we can offer something unique to the group, we feel more indispensable and special. I know someone out there studies this stuff and can provide more insight. If that's you, please feel free to be the first to leave a comment.

Anyway, I recall my high school teacher stating that Darwin wasn't the only one coming up with this theory on evolution. Someone else across the oceans and land also had the idea and at about the same time. However, Darwin published first, and he owns history. It all reminds me of the Apple logo turned into a Steve Jobs tribute. You can read more about it here. Basically, more than one person claim to have independently come up with this or something very similar to it:

from techdirt.com

So what's a gal to do? I'm definitely keeping the name. I can't bare to change the name so my blog will have a title completely different than the over 150 million blogs out there now. After going through the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), I realize that it will be okay. I mean, if everyone freaked out because they had the same name as someone else, apocalypse would have happened yesterday. I joke often about being selfish and greedy and lazy... which may be true to a great extent... but I'm willing to share a name... this time.

ps. Our blog content is totally different anyway. Does that still make me one of a kind?

365 Day 4: Hair Accessories

I'm playing The Minimalists' game for the month of April. If you like to know more about it, click here. I'm working the game into my overall goal. I want to get rid of one item (or more) everyday for the next 365 days. If you like to know more about that, click here. The game is my goal on crack. By the end of the month, I would have gotten rid of 465 items. That's a lot, and I'm not quite sure if I can do it unless I start counting crayons. But I'm willing to give it a try.

Over the years I have accumulated a lot of stuff. I really want to live in a clutter free home. That's hard right now. We're a family of five. Three of the five are kids, and boy, do they have lots and lots and lots of stuff. Yeah, I know that's my fault. I'm seeing the light, or more realistically, the clutter. We have lots of storage disguised as wooden trunks, vases, baskets, drawers, and cabinets. The clutter, however, doesn't like to stay out of sight, out of mind. We often end up with empty storage and stuff everywhere, turning this home into a dangerous labyrinth. Don't step on the Legos! Has anyone seen the bunny?! To be clear, I will not be getting rid of my husband's or kids' things and count it as part of my overall goal. I'm going to leave that up to them. Of course, they may hear some words of encouragement from me.

I tried moving toward a minimalistic lifestyle before. Obviously, I failed. I'm going to try again. So today is Day 4 of my goal, but Day 3 (or April 3) of the game. In the spirit of the game, I'm doing away with 3 hair accessories. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that the two brightly colored bands are mine and not the kids. I think my inner hippy took over that day I looked for a new hairbrush. The crazy thing is that I purchased those hair accessories and never used them... never. So not only were these things a waste of space (cluttering my bathroom sink counter), but a waste of money. Hmmm.... I think I'm slowly learning a bigger lesson here.

The Minimalists' Game

The Minimalists threw down a challenge. Actually, its a game you can play between two or more people. Starting on April 1, you get rid of one item. Then on the 2nd, two items, and so on. The winner is the one who can go the furtherest. It's a tie if both players reach the last day. I call it a challenge because I will be playing this game by myself.

Someone calculated that it would mean saying goodbye to 465 items in April. Of course, I'm not the one doing the calculations, but I'm willing to take the word of a stranger. I know the challenge will be difficult especially since I still plan to go forward with my 365 day challenge. April is going to be like minimalists on speed. Actually, I'm starting to have doubts. Do I even have that much stuff?

Here is The Minimalists' original post: http://www.theminimalists.com/game/

***Update*** I have some friends, or at least a friend, who will play with me!