Trying to get back

Sometimes you want to say f*** this. Really. That's kind of how I felt over the last... I don't know how long has it been? Three weeks? Longer? It started when the stomach virus hit. Three puking kids, endless cycles of laundry, and shampooing carpets and sofas. There were also my school assignments, appointments, and the usual errands. Needless to say, my move to minimalism got derailed.

For the last week, things have slowed down. I found a way to breath again. The family is back on a somewhat familiar routine. Yet, I'm unwilling to jump right into my 365 movement or into The Minimalist Game-- going through all my stuff and figuring out what I should toss, giveaway, or donate. It's really hard to get back into something you stopped for a period of time. A part of me is disappointed that I didn't last long... hardly at all. There's also a part of me that thinks, what is the point? How many times do I try to do this and then stop? Sometimes it is years in between before I'm willing to restart this simplifying process.

Yet, there is also that side of me that feels I need to get back to the basics more than ever. If nothing else, the last few weeks showed me how frustratingly chaotic my life is. I don't like how I felt the last few weeks. I really don't like being that frazzled, get things done at the last minute kind of person. I truly understand that there were factors that would have tested Mother Theresa's patience. Puke being foremost. However, I believe that if I were at a better spot in my life, I probably could have handled it better.

I also realized getting rid of things isn't going to make my life stress free. It's a way of life. I sure do want to get there. I tell myself there will be more setbacks, but that doesn't mean I won't get there. It just may take me longer than I planned.

So, I'm taking time to re-think this. I'm going to have to decide if I'm going to get there by doing what I did before or by trying something else. I also have to decide if I'm going there, where is there? I know the 'feeling' of that life. I am good at imagining how I would feel, but I don't think I imagined what it would mean to live that life beyond a feeling. What does simplifying mean to me? What kind of life is that? What would a normal day be like? What do I do in that day? How do I interact with people around me and with the things I come across? What kind of person am I?

In summary, I'm still trying to figure it out.

365 Day 8: Undergarments

It's Day 8 of my journey, and Day 7 of playing The Minimalists' Game, which means saying adios to 7 items today. I got rid of four bras and three undies. Don't worry. I'm not posting pictures.

Do you remember my post about not being one of a kind? I just stumbled across a blog called 365 Less Things by Colleen Madsen. She's blogging out of Australia and has been doing so for four years. I came across it while searching for more minimalist blogs. Sometime this week, I want to create a list of blogs that offer creative ways to minimize. You know, something that may be fun and an inspiration for Spring Cleaning. It's already getting hard, and I'm just starting week 2.

365 Day 6 and 7: This and That

It's the weekend, and I made it through a week of project 365. I'm also playing The Minimalists' Game for the month of April. I'm decluttering the house by throwing out or giving away something everyday. This weekend, I tossed 11 items since April 5 and April 6 (five plus six equals 11) falls on the weekend. As you can see above, that means three pots, two containers, one lid (which I can't find where it goes to), a chipped candle/oil diffuser, two more vases, a pair of sunglasses, and a broken frame.

Yes, one of the vases does look familiar. Friday, I had said goodbye to two similar vases. I found this one outside and filled with dirt. To tell you the truth, I did have four  of these vases at one point. However, one broke a long time ago. I'm tossing the sunglasses because I'm probably legally blind without prescriptive glasses, and the ones in the picture are not prescriptive. Some of you may notice that there's a tag still on the broken picture frame. I bought that frame when I lived in South Caroline, which was about six years ago. I never used it and never will.

I'm usually a tad lazy when it comes to math, but I am going to do some now. In terms of The Minimalists' Game, I said goodbye to 21 items. A humongous part of me screams I should not have joined in the game and spread those 21 items over 21 days. At least then, I would of made it nearly a month into project 365. I guess I could argue that getting rid of things now or later shouldn't matter. I should be happy with the progress.

It's already starting to get hard. Maybe I don't own that much stuff. I can look around the house and see plenty of things that belong to my kids and even some that belong to my husband. It would be very easy for me to get through this month and the next 51 weeks if I could count their stuff. However, my initial rules says I can't. That worries me. I don't know if I'm going to make it. I wonder if I'm just so attached to my own things that I can't see what I can get rid of-- what I don't really need. Over the next few weeks (maybe even days), I'll find out.

I do know one thing. I'm going to try and be honest about what I need and don't need. I'm not one of those people who says I have to make it to day 365 if I accomplished what I need to on day 100 (which then it will be project 100 instead of project 365). At the same time, I don't want to stop early because I can't bare to part with what I own, but don't use.

365 Day 5: Vases

Today is April 4th, or the 4th day I'm playing The Minimalists' game, hence I'm saying, "So long!" to four vases-- but just to confuse you it's day 5 since I started my declutter mission which you can read more about here. 

I bought two of the vases when they were on sale. Those two are the pink and white twins. Why? I guess just because they were on sale. Sometimes when I see things on sale, even if I don't need them, I invent a need or want. In this case, I envisioned filling these vases with sweet carnations all year round. I wanted to create lovely, aromatic childhood memories for my children, and when they are grown and smell carnations, they will fondly remember I did something right. Now that I'm thinking about it, I may have gotten that idea from my husband who remembers his childhood home smelling like carnations. Overt subliminal messages are powerful to a degree. My intent never met reality. There's a reason why good intentions pave the road to hell.Those empty childhood memories vases took up three years of space.

My husband gifted me the other two vases as part of a Mother's Day Bouquet. I don't remember which Mother's Days. The flowers have long dried up and been tossed in the trash. However, I couldn't bare to throw good vases away. Seriously, at the time I wasn't up to playing favorites. If pinkie and whitie were sticking around, then these two were more than welcomed to stay. I stashed them under the sink, then placed them in a cabinent, and finally next to the other vases on top of a bookcase. I tried convincing myself that this is what you call decorating. You know, storing empty vases on top of a dusty bookcase.

Who am I kidding? For the last week, I looked up at the line of vases and thought I should do something. I decided to get rid of all but one (or three) in case I get surprised with a bouquet of flowers by my sweet husband (hint, hint if you ever read this hubby) and say goodbye to these four. 

I made a rule that I can't bring something into the house unless I'm willing to let something go. It's kind of like that eye-for-an-eye thing people love to talk about. So far, I haven't made any purchases (food and hygiene products don't count). I know a week hasn't even gone by, and for many people, this is no big deal. For me, though, it's a kangaroo leap. I'm an impulsive buyer and emotional shopper. This rule, I hope, will stop me from buying needlessly or making spur of the moment, life changing plans because I just have to have... let's say that spam cutter in the drugstore I keep thinking about or vases filled with invisible carnations.

Maybe I'm Not One of a Kind

It took me a long time to come up with the title Hanging Out Inside. I couldn't help but feel accomplished when I came up with it. It doesn't take a lot to send me to the clouds. I loved the name. Still love it. Too me, it explains an introvert. It also speaks to how we have an inner and outer selves, with the inner self being a place all of one's own. So, I started thinking-- I'm going to reserve the name on social media sites. Imagine how far my jaw fell when I discovered that my original idea wasn't so original. An Other was already using the name.

It was a blow. A one-two punch in the face and gut. As children, we are busy trying to fit in. We join cliques, embrace fads, and mimic popular people, shows, and music (introverts to a lesser degree, but to some degree nonetheless). Yet, at the same time, we want to be original. Who wants to have the same name as everyone else? Gah. We are social creatures with individual identities and needs and wants. We all want to belong, but we want to also be unique. Maybe it's a kind of self-preservation thing. If we can offer something unique to the group, we feel more indispensable and special. I know someone out there studies this stuff and can provide more insight. If that's you, please feel free to be the first to leave a comment.

Anyway, I recall my high school teacher stating that Darwin wasn't the only one coming up with this theory on evolution. Someone else across the oceans and land also had the idea and at about the same time. However, Darwin published first, and he owns history. It all reminds me of the Apple logo turned into a Steve Jobs tribute. You can read more about it here. Basically, more than one person claim to have independently come up with this or something very similar to it:

from techdirt.com

So what's a gal to do? I'm definitely keeping the name. I can't bare to change the name so my blog will have a title completely different than the over 150 million blogs out there now. After going through the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance), I realize that it will be okay. I mean, if everyone freaked out because they had the same name as someone else, apocalypse would have happened yesterday. I joke often about being selfish and greedy and lazy... which may be true to a great extent... but I'm willing to share a name... this time.

ps. Our blog content is totally different anyway. Does that still make me one of a kind?

365 Day 4: Hair Accessories

I'm playing The Minimalists' game for the month of April. If you like to know more about it, click here. I'm working the game into my overall goal. I want to get rid of one item (or more) everyday for the next 365 days. If you like to know more about that, click here. The game is my goal on crack. By the end of the month, I would have gotten rid of 465 items. That's a lot, and I'm not quite sure if I can do it unless I start counting crayons. But I'm willing to give it a try.

Over the years I have accumulated a lot of stuff. I really want to live in a clutter free home. That's hard right now. We're a family of five. Three of the five are kids, and boy, do they have lots and lots and lots of stuff. Yeah, I know that's my fault. I'm seeing the light, or more realistically, the clutter. We have lots of storage disguised as wooden trunks, vases, baskets, drawers, and cabinets. The clutter, however, doesn't like to stay out of sight, out of mind. We often end up with empty storage and stuff everywhere, turning this home into a dangerous labyrinth. Don't step on the Legos! Has anyone seen the bunny?! To be clear, I will not be getting rid of my husband's or kids' things and count it as part of my overall goal. I'm going to leave that up to them. Of course, they may hear some words of encouragement from me.

I tried moving toward a minimalistic lifestyle before. Obviously, I failed. I'm going to try again. So today is Day 4 of my goal, but Day 3 (or April 3) of the game. In the spirit of the game, I'm doing away with 3 hair accessories. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that the two brightly colored bands are mine and not the kids. I think my inner hippy took over that day I looked for a new hairbrush. The crazy thing is that I purchased those hair accessories and never used them... never. So not only were these things a waste of space (cluttering my bathroom sink counter), but a waste of money. Hmmm.... I think I'm slowly learning a bigger lesson here.

The Minimalists' Game

The Minimalists threw down a challenge. Actually, its a game you can play between two or more people. Starting on April 1, you get rid of one item. Then on the 2nd, two items, and so on. The winner is the one who can go the furtherest. It's a tie if both players reach the last day. I call it a challenge because I will be playing this game by myself.

Someone calculated that it would mean saying goodbye to 465 items in April. Of course, I'm not the one doing the calculations, but I'm willing to take the word of a stranger. I know the challenge will be difficult especially since I still plan to go forward with my 365 day challenge. April is going to be like minimalists on speed. Actually, I'm starting to have doubts. Do I even have that much stuff?

Here is The Minimalists' original post: http://www.theminimalists.com/game/

***Update*** I have some friends, or at least a friend, who will play with me!

365 Day 3: Totes

I found these two totes and said goodbye to them. We lived in Germany, and these bags were handy. Most Germans, and probably Europeans in general, used re-useable bags for grocery shopping. If you didn't have one, then you could buy a bag for a Euro or less when you checked out your groceries. 

I heard Hawaii will go to the same system, in which case I have several more totes. 

I know my photos aren't the best in terms of picture quality. As time goes on, I may do something about that. Right now, if you are okay with it, I'm okay with it.

What's going to work? Teamwork!

I dread meeting new people, especially if I have to work with them. That's a bit ironic since I want to go into teaching. I'm sure someone will point out what seems like an introvert's nightmare: the first day of school. Let's say five classes and 25 students in each class kind of nightmare. That's 125 new people in a single day. In my head, however, that's two different things. It is a misnomer that introverts hate people and hate socializing. I love people. I love socializing. I just need to get to know you and feel like our purpose together will break through the superficial facade and small talk. I also like watching others interact. And believe it or not, a classroom doesn't have to be all about the teacher talking, but students interacting and learning as they do it. I love watching ideas and meaning come to life and shine through people's eyes. And once again, I'm tripping off the path, the main focus of what I was going to write about. I'll stop picking flowers and go on to Grandma's house.

So, I want to teach, and thus, I'm working on my teacher certification. I'm taking online courses to help me get there. Now here's the kicker. I just started a new quarter. I perused the syllabi, and in one of my courses, I read team project. <gasp> I had to tell myself to breath. Isn't that ridiculous? Like, I want to teach, and I will probably assign team projects. Yet, here I am feeling my stomach trying to drop down in an attempt to flee out my nether regions.

Not only do I have to be part of a team project, part of the grade is dependent on individual team participation. Not just my participation, but the participation of the others. I tell myself that teamwork is good. The sharing and collaboration of ideas and work usually create something better than what a person can do by themselves (even novelists have agents and editors). I tell myself, that if I want to teach, it's important that I work with other like minded educators, which includes my virtual classmates. We have something to learn from each other, and teachers need to learn. They should be experts at learning if they are to help students to become life-long learners.

Now, not all introverts are alike. Some may not be bothered by this at all. Others might be just slightly annoyed. Me, however, am anxious. I wonder who will be assigned in my group. What kind of individuals are they? Will they contribute? Will we have intelligent dialogue? Will we create a meaningful project together. Will we effectively work together as a team? What if I don't connect?

I think it's the whole not knowing how this will work combined with not knowing the people too. A double whammy. I know, in the end, it will work out. Things usually do. It will probably go better than expected (I tend to imagine all scenarios, even the worst, so I can be prepared). Still, I'm anxious. That doesn't mean I'm falling apart or bailing. That doesn't mean I'm not a good team player or don't want to be a team player. It means that I care. I care about the project and about the individuals who will be on my team. I care how I do and hope to make meaningful contributions. I care so much that I can't help thinking about it and feeling anxious. I know that anxiety will subside once the team moves pass the meet and greet into the nitty gritty. That's what I look forward to. I will probably even be sad once it's all done and wonder why I was anxious in the first place. Until then, I'm trying to make sure my stomach stays inside.

365 Day 2: Shoes

All right. I admit that I have many more pairs of shoes than three, but this is all I could bring myself to give away. The water shoes in the middle cut into my heels. I figure now is a good time to say goodbye to the slippers, or flipflops, on the left since I technically replaced them several months back. The pair on the far right... well, I haven't worn those in ages, and I figure three is a more magical number than two.

I Love You

Well, not you. Maybe I could if I knew you more. Then, my husband would be jealous, and while that would be amusing on some levels, I prefer to keep some distance. (Disclaimer: My husband is a swell kind of guy and puts up with a lot. Whatever I write you mustn't think it's him. It's not. It's me. I'm selfish like that.)

I'm talking about my family. Somewhere in an earlier post-- I'm too lazy to find it even if I have only 6 more-or-less postings-- I made a note to tell my family every morning and every evening, "I love you." How easy is that? It's like a no fail New Year's resolution. Only evil people would fail at something like that, right? I think I just stole the horns from Angelina Jolie's Maleficent. Seriously. I'm wearing them now while sitting on the couch and eating pound cake. Fail. Fail. Fail.

I'm not even at the end of the week, and I already messed up. While my two oldest squirmed through school, I sat here and realized that I ushered them off without saying three simple words, which is not, by the way, "Fail. Fail. Fail."

As I moped about a mommy failure, it dawned on me that I could at least say it to the youngest who hasn't even started school yet. So I yelled out, "I Love You!" and she yelled it back, in the same way. I suddenly wish that I could be screaming and yelling "I Love you" to all of them and all of them screaming and yelling it back. Shoot. I would qualify that as quality 'love' time, which was another goal of mine. I think I'm doing okay on that part though. Lucky me, the kids like stories and we have spent some time reading picturebooks together. I guess it's the introvert in me that just has a hard time expressing in words what I feel shouldn't be necessary when it can be expressed in actions. But I understand that other people need to hear it to feel it too... especially children.

And what about my husband? I have settled with texting him "I love you" in the mornings and whispering it to him at night when we are in bed. It's the nature of long days and work weeks. This is not going as perfect as I imagined.

I know, in terms of reality (no fairy tales), that the world won't stop to notice that I missed a morning. Even this blog confession will probably not go beyond one person-- if I even have a reader out there. My family doesn't even know about my goals, or even this blog. I know, though, that my world stopped when I realized I didn't do what I said I would do. It's so easy to talk about what you are going to do. It's much harder to execute. Even if the execution is really just talking... saying three words, "I love you."

This afternoon, when the other two kids come home, we'll hang out. When we do, I know what I'll tell them. It's not always easy being an introvert in an extroverted world, but I'll do it because I really do love them and I need them to know that too.

365 Day 1: Food Containers

I count today as Day 1. I'm feeling motivated. I know one plastic bag filled with old food containers and bento boxes that we don't use is not a lot, but it's a start. I figure I should start slow. I know this will be easier in the beginning. When I was way, way younger, I ran long distance in high school. I'm pacing myself because I know me, and me will have a hard time as the weeks go by. However, if I tried to do this in a shorter timespan, like a month, I probably would burn out and give up. That's part of the reason why I'm giving myself 365 days. I'm going to take it one day at a time. Hopefully this act will be habit forming.

By the way, I don't do yard sales and garage sales. Call me lazy, but I'm taking the easy way out. There's these drive-by charity groups that frequent our neighborhood. The next time one rolls around, I'll be leaving my the stuff by the side of the road.

Spam

So this emeals thing is harder than I thought. I should have known because it involves cooking. Silly me. A few days ago, before I signed up for emeals, I lost the battle to spam. Yes, I wrote SPAM. I don't hide (anymore) the fact that we eat it. We moved to Hawaii last year, and it did wonders for my self-esteem. Spam is everywhere here. Even McDonalds sells it right along with rice. Suddenly it's okay for me to eat spam in public and like it! I love it, even if it beats me up.

Warning! Graphic Photo! Not really, but thought I would warn you in case you were squeamish.

I seriously considered going to the doc for my popping grease wound. Instead I reached for some Neosporin foam, which unlike the label said, stung like a b**chy bee.

Geez. I totally went off topic. Anyway, if you want to learn more about emeals, click here or for their blog, here.

Suddenly, I don't want to go into great length about emeals in this blog. I guess getting distracted does that. I will say I want to cook better meals, save money and save time. I'm hoping it works out, especially since I went ahead and signed up for a year.

365

I admire minimalists, but I am far from one. There is something appealing to live with less. Less stuff, less mess. On the surface, this means having less materials cluttering the home. It can also translate into getting rid of drama and embracing simplicity in our lives. The more we allow into our lives, the harder it is to filter through it all and see what is important. I believe a simple life is a fuller life.

This page will track my progress to minimalism. I don't expect to live bare bones. However, I hope to come to a reasonable conclusion for a mom living in a family of five. I call this page 365 because my goal is to get rid of one item every day.

While I hope to have my entire family embracing the minimalist movement (or at least declutter a bit), I don't think it is fair to push them off the cliff and say they are jumping with me. For that reason, I am only tracking my progress. Who knows, maybe by the end of the year they will have join me.

Knowing me, I have to come up with some rules. I don't want to end up cheating myself! So here they are:

1. I can only count items that I own or that I am the predominant user. That means I cannot get rid of kids' toys as part of my 365. I can count cooking ware and storage items because I am the one who mainly uses those.

2. If I bring a new item into the home, I must be willing to get rid of an item. It just isn't logical to get rid of 365 items in a year, but take in that many items or more. That would defeat the purpose of living more with less.

3. I also must count gifts as new items brought into the home. If I like it enough to keep it, I must make room for it by saying goodbye to something else.

4. I can get rid of more items on any given day. However, I cannot count those item toward future days.  The exception (there always has to be something) would be vacations. Since I'm not at home to actually get rid of things, I can plan ahead and get rid of things for the days I am away from home or make up for lost days when I get back.

5. I will post weekly. That way I can keep track of what I am doing and stay motivated to keep it up for the next 365.

Spring: New Course, New Me

Springs is here. Almost. I figure this is a good time to start looking at myself. Actually, I have been looking at myself for a while now and realized there are things I would like to change. Before I get into that I want to explain how I became the person I didn't want to be when I enrolled in my college courses.

I sometimes believe I can do more than I can. I know that sounds self-deprecating or that I may get into some kind of "humble boast." It's not like that, though. What I mean by "doing more than I can" is that I will start something and not realize the time and resources needed. My courses were more intense than I predicted, and therefore, I had to take more time away from my family and put them into the courses to get the grades that I wanted. Then I get frustrated, because I feel the pressure of the goals I set and see the toll it takes on me and the family. Instead of being this organized, I-can-do-it all kind of person, I become a grouch-- Move over Oscar, this is my Trashcan.

I hate being a grouch. I know that's hard to tell by my last post, but I really don't like feeling grouchy and frustrated. In the end, I met my goal and got the grades I wanted, but do I feel better as a person? No. Don't get me wrong, I put a lot of effort into those courses, and I learned a lot. I'm proud of that, but not proud of the person that I became to achieve it. What kind of person did I become? Someone who was not fun to be around. I played with the kids less. I spent less time with my husband. I lost my temper more which meant I did more yelling. I placed unrealistic expectations on my family's behavior (wanting to the children to be good and quiet all the time) instead of seeing how my behavior affected everyone. 

I finished the quarter, or I should say, I survived the quarter along with my family. After a one week break, I start the next quarter... tomorrow. I dread repeating hell. So I decided no matter what the course throws at me, I'm going to find happiness in every single day. I came up with two rules to help me find happiness.

1. Love: I promise to tell my husband and kids I love them every morning and every night. I will also show them love by spending time with them by playing their favorite games, reading their favorite books, or just watching their favorite shows with them. I will also make time to love myself. I will read my favorite books and write. I will do things that I enjoy and invite my family and friends to share in that joy.

2. Reflect: At the end of the day, I will reflect. What brought me joy? What didn't go so well? What can I do to make tomorrow better,  more meaningful, more joyful.

I could come up with a more complicated plan by telling myself I will be more organized, I will wake up everyday at 5am and do school work, I will have the kids in bed by 8pm, etc. But then, I think I lose focus of my real goal... to be a better person for myself and for my family.

The American Dream

I read a BBC article titled American Dream breeds shame and blame for jobseekers dated 25 March 2014. If you aren't sure what is the American Dream <gasp>, please read on. It's the United State's ethos and heavily influences the way we Americans feel, think, and behave.

For a long time, I never questioned the American Dream. Never would consider it. And those who railed against it-- didn't hear about those kinds of people until I was much older-- were decidedly anti-American, a derogatory pronouncement to this day especially if you are an American. The American Dream explained everything. It was real. The Great Equalizer. The you-get-what-you-deserve dream manifested in our social class and standings. If you were rich, you earned it. If you had a good job, you worked hard for it. If you had the Leave-It-To-Beaver family or The-Brady-Bunch kind of life, you did something right. The American Dream was a meritocracy. I can be and do anything.

The American Dream has appeal. It over-rides uncontrollable factors such as identity (Minority? No problem! Work harder!) and economics (Poor? No problem! Work harder!). The idea is that you cannot control what or who you were born into, but you can control where you end up.

But there is a vulnerable underbelly of the American Dream. Like many wild creatures, those of the American Dream fiercely protect that underbelly. I first discovered the underbelly in a children's literature course, of all places, that explored cultural values and indoctrination in children's literature. I came across an article (sadly don't have the reference) that explained how every culture is based on ideas that shape a society's identity. The ideas become ingrained to the point that the society no longer considers those ideas as theories or concepts, but accepted truths NOT to be questioned. Growing up, I viewed the American Dream as a fact, a reality. I only first questioned The Dream during that course.

Personal success validates the dream and feeds into ego. However, what happens when a person fails? The BBC article points to Detroit as an example of the American Dream and its erosive affects on self-esteem and self-confidence. Detroit, of course, isn't the only example. The article could have easily included homeless veterans, failed artists, and every person who never became what they dreamed. Failure is internalized: What happened? What did I do wrong? What should I have done differently? What if...

What if things aren't as controllable as we believe? Cancer doesn't just eat away an individual. It eats into family finances, emotions, and time. You can do everything right and a tornado will still tear up your home. You can cross the street, get hit by a bus, and be bedridden for the remainder of life. Ok, I know there are people out there who will say you should not have eaten GMOs,  or move, or look both ways before crossing the street.

I call that defending the underbelly. We become vulnerable and defensive when someone attacks our truths. What we fail to realize is that ideas aren't necessarily truths. They are just that, ideas. We are meant to think about them and understand them. If we are to be the best, we have to understand who we are. We have to understand The Dream and how that made us and the path we walk because of it.

While I know people will call me un-American for this post (Oh boy. This is my first post), I think it is very American to ask questions, to explore beliefs, and to exercise First Amendment rights. I love the ideal of the American Dream, but I also know that we (myself included) have let the American Dream cloud reality. We judge others based on The Dream. You're homeless because you deserve it. Get a job. Work harder. We don't consider mental illness, infirmities, and the tornadoes that plough through lives. When we do, we tend to do it superficially. So bad things happened to you, but you can still pull yourself up by the boot straps. Why should my hard earned money help feed children of lazy, welfare moms. The American Dream doesn't just affect the way we view ourselves, but how we view others. It governs our beliefs and actions.

I've been wanting to voice my thoughts on the American Dream. I admit that there is a part of me afraid to share because people will call me un-American. But I assure you, I am very American, and I love this country enough to say, "It's time we start asking ourselves the hard questions and expose the underbelly of our belief system."





I probably can go on and on. However, I read somewhere that a blog post shouldn't be too long. So I'll end here.